Size
The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 8th graders a question like that!
I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down..
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Kevin stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 7 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Kevin," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
(1) you have a dirty mind,
(2) you didn't read your homework ; and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
Ear Infection
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 85-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private..'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
