Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? Once a doctor was treating his patient with pneumonia but the patient died of typhus.
Indian Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."
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Laloo was writing something very slowly.
Santa: Why are you writing so slowly?
Laloo: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.
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Wife: Sweet Heart! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.
First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
First Kid: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.
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Patient: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Patient: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too
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Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove that the world blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheers and say “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened - the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
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Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother
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Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar leti c.
Munda: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.
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Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.
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Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
Wife: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I prepared.
Annoyed Husband: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance...?
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Enough of Sardar jokes................. Mallu jokes are here
(no offence meant pls...)!!!!!!!!!!
1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax
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2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
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3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
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4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.
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5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
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6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
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7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen
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8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
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9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to
America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
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10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto
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11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
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12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
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13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
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14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
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15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
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16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
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17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.
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18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.
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19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of
Benana
Chibbs.
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20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of
BROGUN
bones....
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Online Jokes on Fun Book
Funny Cartoons by Fun Book
Fun Book always giving moment of joy and fun with exploring features like jokes, story and puzzles. FunBook cartoon network also enjoyed by many and they want some more cartoon fun which Funbook brings again.
Rajnikant Fuuny Cartoon
Funny Story on Hypnotism
Fun Book is a exciting fun wizard always giving matter of joy and applause. Sometimes person are worried because many times unwanted events comes into the life makes life jerky. So makes your life some more exciting because FunBook brings a funny story to make you laugh loudly.
A Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches
I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat
I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.'
It worked! The headaches are all gone."
"Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire
in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps
into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even
better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom,
she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife!"
Fun Book Story 'Gentleman and The Boatman'
The scholarly gentleman and The Boatman
Fun Book always exploring and welcoming new ideas and , fables , stories which have some means to convey truthof life . Which means FunBook working hard to collect knowledge across the world and want a person should have humanity and good characters first, also having helpful and genre
One day, a very scholarly gentleman, while travelling in India, decided to go across big river, so he asked one of the village people who owned a small boat, if he would take him, to this request the boatman agreed.
As they started, the sun became obscured by dark clouds, and as the river was large, the gentleman realised that the crossing would take some time. So he started a conversation with the boatman.
“Did you know that the sun is approximately 93,000,000miles away, and yet it has provided heat and light, throughout the universe since time immemorial, baring that, if it was to shift, even a fraction of an inch out of its orbit, there would be total devastation?”
The boatman replied; “My dear sir, I am just a simple man who has had no education, there is no way I could know such information”
“Then” said the gentleman “You are 25% fool”.
Some time passed, and as they were coming to the ½ way mark, the thunder began to rumble.
“Did you know notice the lightening, just before the rumbling sound”. The gentleman asked. He continued. “Do you know how that phenomenon occurs”
“No sir” replied the boatman.
“Its occurrence is due to the expansion of rapidly heated air,” the gentleman exclaimed, “ You are 50% fool.
About ¾ of the way the weather completely changed. It became dark and started to rain heavily and started filling up the little boat with water clearly making it difficult for the boatman. But the foolish gentleman insisted in questioning.
“Do you know how we get rain”,
“No sir,” was the reply.”
“ The sun evaporates water from the sea, this gets stored in the clouds which then travel by be wind power, then when they become full, it lets all the water go, over the land. That’s how we get rain.”
“You are 75% fool.” Said the gentleman, now feeling very smug.
The gentleman was suddenly interrupted from his basqueing by a loud cry from the boatman,
“Oh no! I have lost my oar and now the water is about capsize the boat, we have no alternative but to swim the remainder of the way, luckily for us it is not very far.”
“But I can’t swim,” cried the gentleman now seeing his own imminent death.
“Then my dear sir, you are 100% fool” said the boatman.
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
Online Fun book just discovered that WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED ? and giving you a very funny story to explain . Moreover its be true that girl became mature early than boys. Woman having much passion and patience than man. FunBook just discovers this fun with all fun loving dudes.
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth... The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is Rs. 195 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife (or Ur teeth!!!!!???). You have freedom of choice
Concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading!
Fun Book : PERFORMANCE Importance
Fun Book exploring why individual performance is more important in life and what is significance of your work. Because Its Fun Book "opinion Only your work can make you Great not your Position".
A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?
The guy replies: I am Banta Singh, taxi driver from New Delhi !
Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles & says to Banta Singh: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .
Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.
Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .
'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?
'Results my friend, results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.
While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.
Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.
Its a dogs life after all
Fun Book brings new lovely story of a dig and butcher and hope everybody will enjoy it .
One day a street butcher looking towards his shop suddenly he noticed a dog coming inside the shop. He want to drove away dog from his shop, and he shoo the dpg but dog again back to the shop . But when he looking closely he noticed that dog has a note in the mouth.
He open the message and read it "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well".
When butcher looks he finds a note of ten dollar, then butcher puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. Butcher was so surprised and makes himself to know more about dog after closing shop and lets to know where will dog go
He was surprised because dog is walking down the street when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button.
But butcher is very curious to know about the bag and the sausages and lamb , for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.
After sometimes dog reaches to bus stop and looks towards to time table, but butcher is in awe at this stage. After checking the time dog has sits on a seat.
When a bus came Dog going in front of the bus and checks the number and then again back to seat , another bus came then dog again checks the number . At last dog finds the number bus which he looking for and he climbs on.
Butcher very surprised to see intelligence of the dog and due to curiousness , butcher follows him to the bus. The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery.
Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.
Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house.
He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door.
He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and again, it throws himself against it.
There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!" to which the guy responds:
"You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."
----Moral of the story----
You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the boss's expectations!! It's dog's life after all.........*
Some Interesting Facts
Fun Book always brings you something very exciting and Joyful . Some interesting facts here brings by FunBook , hope everybody enjoy.
1)Original color of Coco-Cola is Green .
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2)The name which is common in the world is Mohammed.
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3) All continents name start and end with same letter .
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3) Tongue is the strongest muscles in the Body .
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4) each and every person in United America having two credit card .
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5) Longest word which can be write with only one row of the keyboard is ‘TYPEWRITER’.
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6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
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7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
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8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath .
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9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
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11 . It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
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12 . The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
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13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
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14 . Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.
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15.
11 x 11=121
111 x111=12321
1111x1111=1234321
11111x11111= 123454321
111111x111111= 12345654321
1111111x1111111= 1234567654321
111111111x111111111 =123456787654321
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
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16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.
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18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
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19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
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20. A snail can sleep for three years.
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21. All polar bears are left handed.
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22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
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23 . Butterflies taste with their feet.
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24 Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
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25 . In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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26 . On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
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27 . Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
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28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
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29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
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30..... The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
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31 . The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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32 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
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33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
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34 . The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
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35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
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36 . Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
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37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Some Other Fun World
Phoenix Mars Lander
Funny Appraisal letter
Dear HR manager,
Raja, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Raja works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Raja never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Raja takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Raja is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Raja can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Raja be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him.
The Emperor
An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different. He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you."
The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here after one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!"
One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed.
Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn't say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But honest about what happened, Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right.
He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, "Hey nice try."
When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. "What great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!" All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"
When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. "My name is Ling," he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, "Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!" Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?
Then the emperor said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"
*********
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.
But
If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.
*********
So be careful what you plant now, It will determine what you will reap tomorrow, The seeds you now scatter, Will make life worse or better, your life or the ones who will come after. Yes, someday, you will enjoy the fruits, or you will pay for the choices you plant today.
Fun Book
Fun Maza
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. Avoid using mobile while driving
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes!
He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates (upset) you. This guy is probably very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he'll kill us Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. So, Be strong, honey. "I love you, too".
issued in public interest
Wherever u go,our network follows……………….
Fun Book
Love Side Effects
Side Effects of Love : Woman Speaks
Overtime -
If you are in a 9-5 job, and your man goes to office from 11am-11pm, you have to do Overtime. Meaning, you sleep late, get up early.. make food after you get home (even if you have had the toughest day in your life, first cook his food).
Food -
as much as he might be OK with you not knowing how to cook, he expects you will learn and make him some good food, if not as good as his moms (never will be), atleast something edible.
Food changes everything -
His mood, his feelings for you, his opinion of you. Believe me, EVERYTHING.
His friends/ your friends –
become 'Our Friends'
'Commitment' –
the word that scares him the most in the English dictionary.
The 2-faced man –
as much as he likes you to be 'western' in your clothing, he would Really prefer the traditional girl in you.
The Kid -
Men will always be boys. They don't grow up..EVER.
Appreciate his brilliance from time to time -
Men like to be appreciated for their ideas/ methods / conversations / advice.. Many of the brilliant conversations come after a few pegs are down.. (they may be repetitive, but, don't notice).. So, give it to him .
Tell him who you find Hot. He doesn't believe in the line, " Tu hi to mera sansar hai.. Aisa mera pyaar hai". He wants to know who his competition is!! (Even though there may be none).
Momma's boy –
At the end, Momma knows everything & you don't know anything.
'The Image" –
'I don't fall for ANY girl.. Girls fall for me" Poor dude, doesn't know when reality hits him, "Chappad phaad ke deta hai".
Most common gene -
"I am emotionally stable & mature" - Yeah, and I am the princess of Narnia.
Decision Maker –
He makes ALL the decisions in the house.. He decides which bank account the money comes out of – urs or mine?
Sports -
"Even if the streets are filled with riots, and there is an Arsenal – Chelsea match, the match is more important.. Don't disturb!" Even if they don't understand the sport, they have to watch it & make comments.
Friends -
Constant comparison as to whether they are 'Joey' or 'Chandler' or 'Ross', and couldn't care less about which of them you are..
The Acid test -
The best Friend.
Weekend –
"Life is a weekend" – it seems that they live from Sunday to Saturday, and thus you work Overtime (refer to point no. 1) during the week.. and you don't even get any extra credit for it.
Gossip Mongrels –
He wants all the gossip on your friends, but, wont accept that its gossip, coz, then, its called 'An update'.
$moking –
Time pass & a good reason to check out the women at office..
Women Effect -
The ex-s, the present, mom, sister, sister-in-law, cousin sister, all the women in his life- His biggest balancing act.
Work-life balance -
He is always the busy one at work.. If by any chance you are busy one day, god help you.
Flirting –
He thinks it's an art, and he knows it! Worst of all, he thinks that's how he got you.
Fights & Makeup –
Goes by the assumption that a kiss or a rose is all that you need to patch up after a fight.. I say, "Be a man",Lets talk.
TV Remote –
What is that?
Statements you hear often from your boyfriend -
"I have to take care of the family" – I am not family."Main hoon na" – That's the problem.
"Who is she talking to for SO long?" – Dude, its only been 10 minutes.
"Your phone is constantly engaged.. Who are you talking to?" (no matter what the reply, its not good enough)
"Make tea na… Get me biscuits… Maggiiiiiii…" – Get a cook.
"What are we doing for dinner tonight?" - Like I have a say in the matter.
"Uff.. How much Shopping will you do?" – even when the last time you went Shopping was 3 months back.
To the men reading this post -
We all know the reality of the situation, so, lets not be justfying anything said here.
To the women reading this post -
Have I left out any important points?
Disclaimer –
This is a collection of thoughts from women with boyfriends & not about anybody in particular. Any coincidence with my friends' behaviors with their girlfriends is purely coincidental.
Fun Book
Monk and Baby
The Monk and The Baby
Once there was a monk who lived in a village. One day a young village girl became pregnant and was unmarried. She did not want to expose her boyfriend. Out of fear when her parents asked her who is responsible, she pointed her finger to that monk.
Her parents were infuriated. The next day, the whole village turned up to blame the him. "How could you?" "You dirty old man!" "You are a disgrace!" "Get out of our village, you hypocrite!" Some villagers even threaten the his life.
After listening to all the accusations, what he said was "Is that so?" and went back to meditate. Months went by; the young girl gave birth to a baby. The parents of the young girl were forced to find a father for the child.
The parents and the villagers went up to approach him saying "You are responsible for this baby; therefore you should bring up the baby!" Once again, he said "Is that so?" He took the young baby in his arms and went back.
By this time the he has lost his reputation but it did not trouble him. He took very good care for this baby and he manages to obtain milk and everything the child needed from his neighbors.
After a year, he young girl felt ashamed and guilty and wanted to see her baby. She finally told the real story to her parents. When all the villagers came to know the truth, they all felt ashamed of having wrong him.
So all of them gathered and went to the monk asking for forgiveness. Once again, after listening to them said "Is that so?" He handed the baby back to the young girl.
********
When you are right, one thousand angels swearing that you are wrong does not matter. But when you are wrong, ten thousand angels swearing that you are right will not make any difference.
Fun Book
Sardar Jokes Funny : Fun Book
Sardar dukhi tha
Kisi NE pocha kyon tension main ho?
Sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe AB main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.
Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.
Faqir: mera number Le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko apne pass dekhna chati hain?
Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khirki se kodh kar jaan dena chati hai.
Manager: so .. Sir what can I do?
Man: abey khirki nahi khul rahi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.
" Rule: There is 'some thing' important in life than Work and General Knowledge. "
Celebration means : Fun Book Special
Celebration means......
Four friends.
Bahar barsaat.
Four glasses hot coffee and mirchi bajjis../...... .
Celebration means......
Hundred bucks of petrol.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.
Celebration means......
Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a. m.
Celebration means......
3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.
Celebration means......
Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.
Celebration means......
You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,
but to
celebrate
all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
Keep in touch with those who care for you......
Funny Cartoon Network Book Online
Controversy on the historical facts portrayed in the Bollywood movie "Jodhaa Akbar", the storyline is marriage of political alliance of two cultures and traditions which later evolved into love - February '08. 
Indian Premier League (IPL) franchisees ranging from Indian business tycoons to Bollywood stars bid for top Indian & International Cricketers during an amazing price auction at Hilton Towers in Mumbai for
Twenty20 tournment to be held from April 18 to June 1,2008 – February '08. 
United States Election 2008: Democrat presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton & Barack Obama race for nomination on the road to White House – February '08.
Indian Cricketer Harbhajan Singh guilty of uttering offensive (abusive) words 'teri maa ki…' in his native language to Australian Cricketer Andrew Symonds during 2nd Test Match at Sydney, Australia – February '08. 
Volatility and turbulence tumbled Indian Stock Market unnerving investors – January '08.
Selectors exclude Sourav Ganduly from the Indian Cricket Team one-off Twenty20 match against Australia and the triangular series with Australia & Sri Lanka in Australia – January '08.
Rahul Dravid left out from the Indian Cricket Team for the lone Twenty20 match against Australia and the upcoming tri-series with Australia & Sri Lanka in Australia – January '08. 
-
Tata Motors unveil "Nano" the world's cheapest, cost-effective and technologically advanced car with affordable price tag of Rupees one lakh at the 9th Auto Expo in New Delhi, India – January '08.
Controversy regarding umpiring and on field behaviour during the second Australia-India Cricket Test Match at Sydney, Australia - January '08.
Incident of molestation of two young women by revellers in the wee hours of New Year's Day near
J. W. Marriott Five Star Hotel in Juhu, Mumbai - January '08.
ICC umpire Steve Bucknor's wrong decisions against India during second Australia - India Cricket Test Match at Sydney cost the Indian team hugely. – January '08.
Bollywood film ' Taare Zameen Par' showing successful relationship between a teacher
(Bollywood actor Aamir Khan) and a student with learning disability due to understanding , care and love. - January '08.
Item girl Rakhi Sawant's outburst following her & partner Abhishek Awasthi defeat in reality dance show 'Nach Baliye 3' alleging Star TV channel in bogus Short Messaging Service (SMS) votes in favour of her opponent and blocking her SMSes - December '07.
Narendra Modi leading the ruling Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) to Gujarat Assembly Election victory to again be Chief Minister of the State – December'07.
Encouraging Indian Cricket Team for the four-test series in Australia – December '07.
Key Indian cricket fast bowlers Zaheer Khan, Munaf Patel, R.P.Singh and S. Sreesanth grappling with injuries. - December '07. 
Bollywood's actress and dancing queen Madhuri Dixit in the movie "Aaja Nachle" (Let's Dance) in which music and dance being the essence of the movie - November '07.
Pakistan President General Pervez Musharraf's imposition of emergency rule..... November'07.
Upcoming releases in November 2007 of two Bollywood movies SAAWARIYA – innocent,
pure love story and Om Shanti Om – a love story – October 2007.
Times of India's `Lead India Contest' across eight Indian Cities – Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Lucknow, Mumbai & Pune showcasing brightest young Indians (25 – 45 years) vision on various issues of literacy, poverty, equality, health, corruption elimination, bravery, global superpower … – October '07.
On the hilarious all male Bollywood movie `Dhamaal' - October '07.
Indian fast bowler Sreesanth's aggressive on-field behaviour with Australian batsmen during the second One-day International at Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium, Kochi, India – October '07.
Team India celebrate after winning the inaugural ICC WORLD TWENTY 20, SOUTH AFRICA 2007
cricket World Cup in Johannesburg - September' 07.
Entertainers perform during the World Cup cricket matches of "ICC WORLD TWENTY 20,
SOUTH AFRICA 2007" - September '07.
Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan's new look... perfect six pack abs... new hair do.... - September '07.
Box-office debacle of Ram Gopal Verma's Bollywood movie "AAG" - Arrival of evil, a remake of yesteryear classic favourite entertainer Sholay - September '07. 
Hollywood's Disney-Pixar popular family movie RATATOUILLE (rat-a-too-ee) with the main cute cartoon character "Remy - the rat", who loves to cook delicious food - August '07. 
Political parties oppose ruling UPA Government's Indo-US civilian nuclear deal - August '07. 
CHAKDE! INDIA, the Bollywood movie with focus on women's hockey featuring star-actor Shah Rukh Khan playing coach of the Indian Women's Hockey Team to bring fame to India - August '07.
Bollywood superstar Sanjay Dutt popularly known as Sanju Baba given six-year jail term by TADA Court (Terrorism and Disruptive Activities (Prevention)) being guilty under Arms Act for illegally possessing prohibited arms & ammunition in the 1993 Bombay (now Mumbai) blasts case - August '07. 
Popular singer - composer Himesh Reshammiya's debut as an actor in the Bollywood film 'AAP KA SUROOR' (The movie: The Real Love Story) - July'07.
Police in Mumbai, India conduct breathalyser or conventional tests on motorists at night to crackdown on drunken driving to avoid road accidents - July '07.
On the popular movie 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' with Harry Potter and other characters at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Movie- full of action, adverture and suspense - July '07. 
Bollywood actress Bipasha Basu co-hosted the grand event at Lisbon to reveal the new Seven Wonders of the World shares happy times with Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo - July '07.
India's Taj Mahal a masterpiece of architecture of 17th Century in the worldwide race for inclusion in the new Seven Wonders of the World. It was built by Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan as a symbol of enduring love for his wife Mumtaz on the outskirt of Agra - July '07.
Richard Gere Hollywood actor and Shilpa Shetty Bollywood actress in a controversial incident in public at an AIDS function in India - May, 2007. 
On Bollywood's comedy film Bheja Fry - May' 07. 
On Bollywood superstars Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan's son Abhishek's wedding with Aishwarya at their residence Prateeksha in Mumbai - April 2007. 
Sanjaya Malakar youngest semifinalists in American Idol Season 6 - singing contest - April '07
Indian Cricket Coach Mr. Greg Chappell resigns after debacle in ICC World Cup 2007 and bitter feud with players - April '07
