Time To Refresh your Mind

Latest Online Cool Jokes

Special thanks to Shrinkhala Tewari who sent this beautiful post having jokes to Fun Book for posting.

Lady : Is this my train?


Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.


Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
this train to New Delhi.


Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.



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Wife : Do you want dinner?


Husband : Sure, what are my choices?


Wife : Yes and no.


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A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery.


The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order."


The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll
have a
scotch and soda."



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Girl : Do you love me?


Boy : Yes Dear.


Girl : Would you die for me?


Boy : No, mine is undying love.



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1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!


2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.


1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.



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Man : How old is your father?


Boy : As old as me.


Man : How can that be?


Boy : He became a father only when I was born.


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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"


Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field


Teacher : How?


Student : Ladies first.


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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?


Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
the game went into extra time.




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Why Indians are Targeted Abroad???

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.



The teacher said, "Let us begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"



She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.



'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''



Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.



The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'



She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Indians.'



'Now,who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'



At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'



The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'


Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'



Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S**k this!'



Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997! '



Now with almost mob hysteria, someone said 'You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'



Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson (RIP) to the child witnesses testifying against him - 2004.'



The teacher fainted. And, as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh*t, we're screwed!'



And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008".(recession) .

Woman Jokes Online

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman
said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most
beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis
whom women will floc to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-
she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she
wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine."
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!

The
frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a
mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't
mess with them.

Attention
female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good

Male
readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times
"milder" than his wife!!!

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart .

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour

Time to laugh.-Sardar hits back

Time to laugh.-Sardar hits back..

Sardar: * My mobile bill how much?*
Call centre girl:* sir, just dial 123to know current bill status*
Sardar:* Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.*



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Friend: * I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! *
Sardar:* Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!*


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Teacher:* Which is the oldest animal in world?*
Sardar:* ZEBRA*
Teacher:* How?*
Sardar:* Bcoz it is Black & White *


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Judge:* Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge:* U R coming daily, don't U have shame?*


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Question:* "Should Women have Children after 35?"*
Smart Sardar Replied:* "No!35 Children R More than Enough!!"


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Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.*
Manager:* Do U know MS Office?*
Sardar:* If U give me the address I will go there sir.


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(Best one)
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"*
Sardarji replied:* "I Mr YOU" !!.


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After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:"Torch is okay"


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Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.


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Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "*
Air hostess said:* "B silent."*
Sardar:* "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"


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Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!*


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Sir:* What is difference between Orange and Apple?*
Sardar:* Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE


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8 Tips For Disliking A Person Less

Some people are part of your life, whether you want them there or not. What if you don’t have the
warmest of feelings for your boss? Your mother-in-law? Your next-door neighbor?

It’s easy to come up with a mental catalog of all the ways in which that person could change to be less annoying,
domineering, passive-aggressive, arrogant, etc.—but the fact is, you can’t change anyone but yourself.

Here are some tips about how to help yourself cultivate more friendly feelings. It’s quite a strain to hide feelings of dislike;
if you can manage to change your feelings, you’ll be much happier. It’s hard, but not impossible.



1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don't like someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person,
but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect,
we tend to like people better the more we see them.

2. Do nice things for that person. “We prefer to see those to whom we do good than those
who do good to us,” as La Rochefoucauld observed.

3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching a person so unobtrusively that it’s not noticed,
increases people’s sense of well-being and positive feelings.

4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage it, laugh about it with that person,
or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh.
This can be tough, however.


5. Act friendly. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act.
So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective—just try it.

6. Resist criticizing that person. When you voice your complaints, they assume a solidity in your mind that’s hard to eliminate.
When your thoughts remain unspoken, they can more easily be changed.

7. Remember happy shared experiences. Recalling good times elevates mood and will help warm your feelings.

8. Be grateful. Reflecting on reasons to feel grateful, instead of reasons to be angry or annoyed, will help change your view.

6 Ways to Train Your Boyfriend

6 Ways to Train Your Boyfriend
"You can't change a man" is one of the oldest cliches in the book.
Well, we just discovered some news that challenges that notion, and it
comes from an unlikely source: animal trainers.

Males are card-carrying members of the animal kingdom, and they exhibit a lot of the same behaviors as many other mammals

Read on and you will soon be able to teach him some new tricks.

#1 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He's Allergic to Chores

Indulge His Playfulness



✭As Used on Chimpanzees. These primates are big mischief makers, so getting them to calm down can be a real challenge.
Luckily, if you indulge their silly side, you have a good shot at getting them to pay attention. "When we need the chimps to
perform a task, we get on their level and play with them for 5 or 10 minutes,"
Once they've had some fun, they're more willing to heed commands because
they instinctively know it's their turn to return the favor.

✭Apply It to Your Guy. No matter how old they are, men never quite lose touch with the playful, naughty boy within.
Too bad they often pick the worst times to bring out that brat -- like when you're running late for work or need them
to do something around the house. To get what you need done, "indulge him with a few minutes of acting goofy,
Then tell him you'll finish playing with him later, as long as he takes out the trash or does whatever else
you need him to do. Since his mind and body are now surging with feel-good chemicals from your brief,
fun exchange, he's less likely to wrinkle his nose at the request . Use this technique consistently and,
over time, he'll be less likely to associate chores with drudgery.

#2 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He Lacks Social Graces


Reward the Good, Ignore the Bad



✭ As Used on Dogs. Pre-training, a pup will sniff crotches and paw at people's legs. The instinct is to shoo it away,
but that only makes it want to sniff and paw more. Instead, trainers reward the dog when it behaves
and ignore any actions they don't like . Since dogs crave affection,
they slowly
begin to avoid bad habits and opt for good ones.

✭ Apply It to Your Guy. Perhaps your man could use some finessing when it comes to social situations too -- say,
to curb his habit of telling off-color jokes. When he engages in unseemly behavior, your immediate reaction
might be to tell him to knock it off already. But that tactic invariably falls on deaf ears.

Men don't want to be treated like children, and if you correct him, he'll feel like you're mothering him.
Instead, ignore him when he's being obnoxious, and give him some PDA (think a kiss or a tap on the bottom) when he's acting sweet.
Since guys, like dogs, aim to please, he'll instinctively begin to avoid the behavior that makes you freeze him out.

One caveat: Timing is crucial. Be sure to reward him at the exact moment he engages in a positive behavior;
otherwise, he won't be able to make the appropriate connection.

#3 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He Bolts When You Argue

Keep a Cool Head



✭ As Used on Horses. Beneath the powerful stallion exterior lies a skittish animal. That's why they
generally respond well to a calming voice and touch from trainers.

✭ Apply It to Your Guy. Like horses, men seem to be hardwired to want to bolt at the first sound of irritation.
So even if he's been working your last nerve, try to approach him in a cool, collected manner (remember, as hard as it sounds,
this is all going to benefit you in the end). For instance, if you are mad that he hasn't been planning enough date nights
or can't stand when he forgets to call while he's out, your instinct might be to yell or get huffy. Instead, keep your composure by
taking a few minutes alone before you approach him, then speak in a quiet, even-toned voice. "Calmly telling him
what he did wrong will make it easier for him to tune in to what you're saying," . Touch also plays a crucial role
in this scenario: Place your hand on his as you speak. Not only does this buffer the blow of your words,
but it also mimics the comforting way a trainer strokes a horse's mane to calm the animal down.

#4 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He Stands His Ground

Use Proper Body Language



✭ As Used on Cougars. When trainers want a cougar to bend to their will, they find a middle ground.
Instead of trying to submit or dominate a cougar, trainers try to form a cooperative relationship.
They walk tall with squared-off shoulders. This stance ensures that the trainers don't look
like prey but they're not threatening either.

✭ Apply It to Your Guy. Even the most liberated guy can feel emasculated by a fearless chick. So when you're having a
sticky conversation with him, he might be unconsciously bristling at your body language. If you're standing really close to him
with your hands on your hips and your feet wide apart, he'll get defensive and instinctively want to fight back.
Similarly, if you stand meekly and tilt your head while talking to him, he might take it as a sign that you're too submissive.
The best way to stay on equal ground is to stand with good posture, your head up, and an open frame so he sees you
as being on the same level as he is. This way, he'll be more apt to want to talk things through with you.

#5 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He Won't Drag Himself Off the Couch

Approach Him at the Right Time



As Used on Lions. Lions are, in a word, lazy. According to trainers, they sleep for up to 20 hours a day and
only move when they see it as beneficial to themselves. Trying to get a lion to do something when it's in resting mode can be
very difficult and even dangerous.
That's why we make use of the animal's active time instead of trying to force it into doing
something it doesn't want to when it's chilling.

Apply It to Your Guy. A man in veg-out mode is unlikely to move no matter how much you try to engage him.
You have to gauge when he's in a productive mood and then pounce to get him to do what you want.
If you notice that he prefers working out in the morning, that's a good time to ask him to help you clean when he's finished.
If you need something done during his downtime and don't want to wait, bribe him. Motivate him by making it worth his while.
When you feel like you haven't been able to have a heart-to-heart but he's in a coma in front of the TV,
try plying him with his favorite snack. If his cravings for the food outweigh his interest in the TV, he'll eventually cave.
#6 BOYFRIEND BUMMER: He's Not Romantic

Take Baby Steps



As Used on Elephants. These mammals can learn a variety of tasks but only on an incremental timeline.
A trainer would never expect an animal to learn something without teaching it how to do it.
For example, if trainers want an elephant to paint as part of a circus act, they'll first show the animal how to curl
its trunk around the brush. Next, they'll have it dip the brush into the paint. Only then would they show
it how to create brushstrokes. Animal trainers call this process of using small steps "successive approximations."

Apply It to Your Guy. The average guy is plenty romantic, but he's not hardwired to plan out the little details.
So if you can't remember the last time he put together a romantic night for you both, you'll have to show him the way.
Start by staging your apartment with cues that get you going, like candles and a sultry soundtrack. Have your
favorite chilled wine on hand so you can ask him to open it before dinner. This creates a ritual in his mind.
Eventually, not only will he get a sense of what your romantic needs are, but he'll also start making a game plan of his own.

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A Very Touching Story

My mom only had one eye. I hated her.... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed..

How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.



The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEEW, your mom only has one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only goanna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"


And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight. One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died…I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

"My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion…But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you..
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up...

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand
watching you having to grow up with one eye…So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye..

With all my love to you, Your mother..

Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day will be their last, or your own.

Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings peace....



"God is too wise to be mistaken,God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand;when you can't see His plans when you can't see His hand Trust HIS Heart."

Effects of IT on our daily life J J

Abhijeet


Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to
ask, “why is she not attending the status call?”



Anup



I don’t login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal
internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.
Till I realize - I am at home.

Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation
saying ...” Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back”
(Hilarious!)


Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.

Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back
office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit /
Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery
later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually
asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i
replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the
hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !

Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist asked whr I
want 250mg r 500mg…..suddenly I replied as 256mg…lol….thank god he
didn't noticed tht….

Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news
channel to the DVD while watching TV.

Vidyarthi…

And I – after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder,
decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the
movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at
the bottom right corner of the silver screen!

Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place
wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"

Krishna


When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy
at the entrance my ID card and walked in… he had to call me back
asking the ticket…

Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my
id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm
trying to do

Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the
petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!

Ashok this one is the best


few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning
at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and
laughed at myself when I realized abt that. J





Jyotsna



Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune,
me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants..

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in
my hand.. J

Short Funny Story

Awesome Revenge
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,”

Er...excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you? "

She responds in a loud voice: “NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE
NIGHT WITH YOU!”


Everyone in the bar
turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised, shocked and
embarrassed and goes back to his table..


After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles,
apologizes, and says," You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations. "


The young man responds loudly with,

" WHAT !!! THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.!!!

THATS TOO MUCH ! "

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How to Start your day with a Positive Attitude
HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE:
1. Open a new file in your PC .
2. Name it " Boss "
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? "
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

THE EVIL YOU DO, REMAINS WITH YOU

A woman baked chappaties for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chappati on the window-sill, for whosoever would take it away.

Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the chappati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunch-back came, picked up the chappati and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself. "Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?"

One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chappati she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said. Immediately, she threw the chapati into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window- sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chappati and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chappati on the window-sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chappati. As he gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!"

As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chappati that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realised the significance of the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

Online Jokes on Fun Book

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? Once a doctor was treating his patient with pneumonia but the patient died of typhus.


Indian Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

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Laloo was writing something very slowly.
Santa: Why are you writing so slowly?
Laloo: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.

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Wife: Sweet Heart! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.
First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
First Kid: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.

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Patient: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Patient: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too

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Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove that the world blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”

A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheers and say “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”

So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened - the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”

The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…

“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

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Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother

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Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar leti c.
Munda: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.

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Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.


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Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
Wife: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I prepared.
Annoyed Husband: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance...?

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Enough of Sardar jokes................. Mallu jokes are here

(no offence meant pls...)!!!!!!!!!!



1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?



IngumDax

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2) Where did the Malayali study?



In the ko-liage.

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3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?



He is very bissi.

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4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?



To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in

Gelff.

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5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?



To yearn meney.

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6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught

fire?



He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

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7) How does a Malayali spell moon?



MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

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8) What is Malayali management graduate called?



Yem Bee Yae.

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9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to
America ?



He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

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10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office

everyday?



An Oto

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11) Where does he pray?



In a Temble, Charch and a Maask


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12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?



A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

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13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?



Kerala.

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14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?



Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

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15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?



He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say

'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

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16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?



" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

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17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football

teams ?



Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

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18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of



kokanet oil.

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19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of

Benana

Chibbs.

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20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of

BROGUN

bones....
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