Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? Once a doctor was treating his patient with pneumonia but the patient died of typhus.
Indian Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."
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Laloo was writing something very slowly.
Santa: Why are you writing so slowly?
Laloo: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.
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Wife: Sweet Heart! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.
First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
First Kid: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.
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Patient: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Patient: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too
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Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove that the world blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheers and say “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened - the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
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Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother
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Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar leti c.
Munda: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.
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Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.
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Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
Wife: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I prepared.
Annoyed Husband: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance...?
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Enough of Sardar jokes................. Mallu jokes are here
(no offence meant pls...)!!!!!!!!!!
1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax
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2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
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3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
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4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.
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5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
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6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
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7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen
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8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
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9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to
America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
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10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto
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11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
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12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
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13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
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14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
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15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
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16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
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17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.
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18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.
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19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of
Benana
Chibbs.
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20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of
BROGUN
bones....
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